It’s never easy to work out why a child gets angry on a regular basis, but it’s worth considering if it could be due to any of the following reasons, all of which I have come across during my work with families:
Child is having problems at school, peer pressure/social skills/bullying.
Child is suffering from high anxiety levels.
Child has sensory issues.
Child does not feel listened to.
Child is suffering from stress.
The behaviour gets the child what they want.
Too much screen time is having an adverse effect on behaviour.
Lack of boundaries in the home.
Difficulties with parent / child relationship.
Many parents of children who seem angry a lot, often notice that their child is total inflexible, and cannot bear any changes to routine or plans. It may appear as if they just have to have their own way all the time and the slightest little thing can cause a major upset.
Tiny things can cause epic meltdowns.
For example one family I worked with reported to me that they went for a family day out, and had explained to their seven year old son roughly what they would be doing.
However their afternoon plans changed due to the weather, and this caused an epic meltdown.
This child would fly into a rage over what seemed to be the smallest of things, and the whole family ended up walking on eggshells around him.
Is this sounding familiar? If so, you are not alone.
There are many children out there who have genuine difficulty regulating their emotions.
The lucky ones are surrounded by adults, including their parents, who do not blame and punish them, but who seek to understand, and to find solutions to this problem.
Some children behave in this way because they do not have certain skills.
The skills needed to cope with life’s day to day irritations include:
Being flexible and adaptable.
Being able to solve problems.
Being able to delay gratification.
Being able to express difficult feelings in appropriate ways.
Being able to understand the effect your behaviour has on others.
Developing good self-care skills.
Take care of your child and yourself
It is not uncommon for children to display angry behaviour, and there is nothing wrong with feeling angry, it is a normal human emotion.
It is how that anger is expressed that can be problematic, and if angry incidents are happening on a daily basis that of course can be very stressful for everyone.
If you have an angry child try to explore what the reasons for that anger might be, get some help if you need to.
What about you?
All children need time, understanding, and patience, and children with emotional difficulties need these things in spadesful. If you have a child like this, take extra care to look after yourself and your own needs as much as you can so that you are in the best place you can be to help your child.
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